Banner by Phases1. She's such a sport :)
No, really what's this all about?!
(a foreword of sorts)
This my website, and I'm gonna warn you. I have... a strange sense of humor. I'm Jukka T. Nurmi (The T stands for Tapio: ancient Finnish god of forests. Owned!!!) and I finally got my lazy ass around to constructing/manufacturing/ making/whatevering! my own website. The Internet's full of three things: 1) porno, 2) spam, and 3) egoistic n00bs. While they all have their place (well... not that sure about spam and n00bs), you won't find them here. Sorry. Why not visit the fine website of Brooklyn Botanical Gardens instead?
No? All right, then. From my website, which is still heavily under construction, thank you for the biting remarks, you will find info about me, my many alter egos, and also my fanfiction for the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Don't like Buffy? Bullshit, everyone likes Buffy. If you'd like something about the Zulu people & their history and culture, look here. Hey, no problem, glad to be of service. If you're the owner of the beige Volvo 740GL, your headlights are on. If you're the legal guardian of that chubby Portuguese fellow, please come and pick him up. He's drinking all my whiskey. If you're the boyfriend of Juliet Landau, she followed me home, okay?
Otherwise, whether you came here by accident, are my friend/family member/relative, were linked here by some FOOLISH MORTAL MWAHAHAHAAHA-- ahem, other person, and wish to go on, please, follow me. Buckle up and take my hand. And if I should slap your butt in the dark, don't be alarmed. That just means I like you.
Now, let's go. Shhhhhh!